My Spirit Garden

I talk to the dead. Yes, seriously. In fact many mornings I grab my cup of java and head out to a small, partially hidden corner of my backyard where I have a memorial garden. The little garden is located behind some bushes and under the shade of my beloved magnolia tree. It's just a little area surrounded by some field stones in a semi-circular pattern, with memorial stones for a beloved pet, remembrance stones for my relatives who have completed their journey in this life, and a few small, wild animals that were slower than my cat. 

At the entrance to my little Spirit Cafe, where I sip my morning brew and talk to my relatives, is a fragment of rusty iron gate. This little gate both reminds me of New Orleans and that we all eventually pass through the open gate from this world to the next, there is nothing to be afraid of. There is also a small bird fountain, wrought iron with two large palm leaves extending in opposite directions so the effect is one of balance, similar to the statue of the girl with the bowls in "Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil."  

Eventually I would like to add a rose bush and a really nice garden bench. These little gardens are very easy to do and provide both a soothing place of remembrance and one for private meditation. They are as unique as the persons honored and the one honoring them. They can be fairly ornate with a formal border of rosebushes or hedges or one of stone or brick. A fountain is always a nice, soothing element. I had originally envisioned a series of stepping stones passing a low, Japanese-style water basin and illuminated by a stone temple lantern, but a more casual, free-form design was a better fit. 

If the memorial garden is for a family pet, children may wish to be involved in planning, preparing and dedicating the site to honor their loved one. 

My family has always been nomadic so we favor urns over caskets. One can keep one's loved one close always, or after the grieving process has mostly passed can scatter the ashes in a place that person would be happy. I love the idea of this biodegradable shell so I can let one sister go to the waters she loved to dive in.  I haven't quite decided whether to scatter my husband at Point Joe, near Spanish Bay (a favorite spot of his) or to ship his remains to St. Andrews where the caddies can take him out for a final round before releasing him to the sounds of bagpipes at dusk. I plan to be interred at Starbucks.